Hey all! I just felt a need to update on what's going on in my life. I'm still not doing well at reading my Bible. I need it where I can see it so that I will actually read it so now it's on my coffee table. I did read Genesis 19 today, but I don't have much to say about it except that people are twisted. It's amazing to think how far back our world became corrupt and it's only gotten worse from there!
Anyway, I'm 30 weeks pregnant now and still not to the point where I wish it would just be over. Truth is, I'm terrified of what's to come. There's no taking this back! I look forward to meeting my son, but it's everything that comes with it that terrifies me. I almost want to stop reading books about it because they just keep scaring me more. And don't tell me my mommy instincts will kick in because I know this. But it's hard to imagine right now. I mean, I've been just a woman for 25 years so to just all the sudden become a mommy is like...woah!
And yes, I felt the same way about becoming a wife. That was terrifying all in itself and I had reason to be terrified! The first 1 1/2 years of our marriage were really, REALLY hard! But now things are better and I adore my wonderful husband who had been here for me completely through this pregnancy and I can't imagine doing it without him. Even with the birthing classes, he started off mostly just scared and not wanting to participate and now you should see him. (I have a smile that I couldn't stop even if I'd wanted to). When we do our relaxation "training" at the end of the class, he is so right there for me. I think he's going to do great when I go into labor.
So my only physical complaints about being pregnant are my shin splints, though other things are just very recently starting to happen. My feet and ankles are swelling, probably with all the heat lately, and my low back just yesterday started bothering me. I'm doing my exercises recommended in our birthing class so maybe the low back has held off because of that, but I might need to do them more often if this is the case.
Also, I only have 6 weeks left of work. I'm sooo excited. It's been a great 3 1/2 years, but I'm more than ready to move on. I'm just glad I've had such a good boss. And he's finally responding to me when I talk about my pregnancy instead of pretending like he didn't hear me. It's kind of hard not to face the facts when my belly is this big. Haha.
So I think that's all for now. Gotta go get ready for another day of work!!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Genesis 18
I'm getting back into the groove of reading my Bible and commenting on what I've read. I hope I keep this up. I'm going to try to blog weekly, but I don't know if that will happen. This week I read Genesis 18 and found a couple of good topics. The story that made me think the most was verses 16-33 where God tells Abraham he is going to go to Sodom to see if it's as bad as he's hearing and will destroy it if it is and Abraham pleads for the righteous. Here's Gen 18:20-26.
"Then the Lord said, 'The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.' The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord. Then Abraham approached him and said, 'Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing--to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?' The Lord said, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.'"
Abraham talks the Lord down to ten righteous people by the end of the passage before the Lord left for Sodom.
So here's my thought: How bold of Abraham to speak up! Good for him to say how he felt in the very presence of God! I feel like so many people these days are even scared to tell God how they feel without being face to face with Him and here Abraham looks Him square in the eyes and tells Him of his frustrations with God's decision. Can you imagine how Abraham felt walking away from God at that moment? He was probably shaking! He could've been scared, exhilarated, or at peace with the situation. Maybe Abraham felt confident enough with God after just having spent some time with Him, eating and talking with Him that he was perfectly calm talking to God in such a way, but I can't imagine his heart wasn't pounding throughout the conversation. Abraham does say a couple of times, "Don't be angry with me for speaking so boldly, but..." so I have to imagine he was still scared. And yet, look at the Lord's reaction. You can't really tell what tone of voice He used or what His face looked like, but I believe He was calm about it. He didn't seem angry at all during this whole repetitive conversation. He is a patient God.
So why are we so scared to tell Him how we feel? God clearly encourages us to express our feelings whether we're angry with God, sad about the way things turned out, or thrilled about what just happened. So I encourage you to talk to God as you would talk to anyone else close to you: your parents, siblings, spouse, or best friend. God will most likely handle it better than your loved one did so let it out! Don't hold it in! God will still love you the same after your venting as He did before...and that's quite a bit of love.
"Then the Lord said, 'The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.' The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the Lord. Then Abraham approached him and said, 'Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked? What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it? Far be it from you to do such a thing--to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?' The Lord said, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake.'"
Abraham talks the Lord down to ten righteous people by the end of the passage before the Lord left for Sodom.
So here's my thought: How bold of Abraham to speak up! Good for him to say how he felt in the very presence of God! I feel like so many people these days are even scared to tell God how they feel without being face to face with Him and here Abraham looks Him square in the eyes and tells Him of his frustrations with God's decision. Can you imagine how Abraham felt walking away from God at that moment? He was probably shaking! He could've been scared, exhilarated, or at peace with the situation. Maybe Abraham felt confident enough with God after just having spent some time with Him, eating and talking with Him that he was perfectly calm talking to God in such a way, but I can't imagine his heart wasn't pounding throughout the conversation. Abraham does say a couple of times, "Don't be angry with me for speaking so boldly, but..." so I have to imagine he was still scared. And yet, look at the Lord's reaction. You can't really tell what tone of voice He used or what His face looked like, but I believe He was calm about it. He didn't seem angry at all during this whole repetitive conversation. He is a patient God.
So why are we so scared to tell Him how we feel? God clearly encourages us to express our feelings whether we're angry with God, sad about the way things turned out, or thrilled about what just happened. So I encourage you to talk to God as you would talk to anyone else close to you: your parents, siblings, spouse, or best friend. God will most likely handle it better than your loved one did so let it out! Don't hold it in! God will still love you the same after your venting as He did before...and that's quite a bit of love.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Keepin it alive
Hey to anybody that reads this!
I have not been on here for a while and that's because life got hectic. I'm 5 months pregnant and loving it even though I have many aches and pains. I know it's gonna get worse, but I'm trying to tough it out because there's nothing I can do about it. But I LOVE knowing I have a little baby in there growing constantly and moving around. My baby is facing backwards right now and my placenta's in front so I was told that I wouldn't feel him/her much. I maybe have felt 3 kicks but he/she definitely pushes on me on occasion and I adore that feeling just to know he/she's there. Throughout my pregnancy, I've been watching a weekly update about how big an average baby is that week and it's been fun to pull out the ruler and see the length and compare it to something on me just to know about how big he/she is. Unfortunately, he/she outgrew the 8-inch ruler and is now about to outgrow the 12-inch ruler so I won't be able to tell except to put the two rulers together I guess. Haha.
On another note, I got sick two weeks with just a cold. It started in my throat and worked its way up to my nose, stuffing it all up and then back down to just my throat. I have a lingering cough that's driving me crazy, but I've felt not sick for over a week now. Oh well, I'm just assuming my immune system is taking care of my baby better than me and I'm ok with that.
Thirdly, I have not been reading my Bible also because of the chaos going on. That's not an excuse, just the truth. I need to make time to read it more often. My husband found a Bible study that meets every two weeks and has 5 1/2 couples in it that are all about our stage of life from engaged to two children. There's even a lady who is due 11 days before me with her second child. They all were so nice and I enjoyed hearing about what they were reading in the Bible lately and what it meant to them. Then they talked about what's going on in their lives (good and bad) and gave out prayer requests. I'm not an outspoken person, but I'm in a great need of prayer right now so I spoke up my first time there. It was crazy to me that I said something. Haha.
That's another thing I want to mention. I have noticed how much less passive and more aggressive I've become in a good way. It's been going on for about a year, but it took up until a few months ago for me to realize it. I used to be super passive, never speaking up for myself or my friends and I've regretted so many things I wish I could go back and change, but they are what's helped me get to where I am now. If I had a friend that told me to save them a seat and somebody else sat there, I wouldn't have said anything. Now I do it instantly, not even a hesitation! That makes me happy. If there was a problem with my food at a restaurant, I wouldn't have said anything, but just dealt with it, but now I have no problem telling the server about it, in a nice way of course. :) I've realized so many instances like this where I would've been shy in the past, but I did something boldly instead. This has been the biggest highlight of realization.
So there you have it. My 3 month update. Now I better get to reading my Bible so I can write more about my findings! I hope you are encouraged today!
I have not been on here for a while and that's because life got hectic. I'm 5 months pregnant and loving it even though I have many aches and pains. I know it's gonna get worse, but I'm trying to tough it out because there's nothing I can do about it. But I LOVE knowing I have a little baby in there growing constantly and moving around. My baby is facing backwards right now and my placenta's in front so I was told that I wouldn't feel him/her much. I maybe have felt 3 kicks but he/she definitely pushes on me on occasion and I adore that feeling just to know he/she's there. Throughout my pregnancy, I've been watching a weekly update about how big an average baby is that week and it's been fun to pull out the ruler and see the length and compare it to something on me just to know about how big he/she is. Unfortunately, he/she outgrew the 8-inch ruler and is now about to outgrow the 12-inch ruler so I won't be able to tell except to put the two rulers together I guess. Haha.
On another note, I got sick two weeks with just a cold. It started in my throat and worked its way up to my nose, stuffing it all up and then back down to just my throat. I have a lingering cough that's driving me crazy, but I've felt not sick for over a week now. Oh well, I'm just assuming my immune system is taking care of my baby better than me and I'm ok with that.
Thirdly, I have not been reading my Bible also because of the chaos going on. That's not an excuse, just the truth. I need to make time to read it more often. My husband found a Bible study that meets every two weeks and has 5 1/2 couples in it that are all about our stage of life from engaged to two children. There's even a lady who is due 11 days before me with her second child. They all were so nice and I enjoyed hearing about what they were reading in the Bible lately and what it meant to them. Then they talked about what's going on in their lives (good and bad) and gave out prayer requests. I'm not an outspoken person, but I'm in a great need of prayer right now so I spoke up my first time there. It was crazy to me that I said something. Haha.
That's another thing I want to mention. I have noticed how much less passive and more aggressive I've become in a good way. It's been going on for about a year, but it took up until a few months ago for me to realize it. I used to be super passive, never speaking up for myself or my friends and I've regretted so many things I wish I could go back and change, but they are what's helped me get to where I am now. If I had a friend that told me to save them a seat and somebody else sat there, I wouldn't have said anything. Now I do it instantly, not even a hesitation! That makes me happy. If there was a problem with my food at a restaurant, I wouldn't have said anything, but just dealt with it, but now I have no problem telling the server about it, in a nice way of course. :) I've realized so many instances like this where I would've been shy in the past, but I did something boldly instead. This has been the biggest highlight of realization.
So there you have it. My 3 month update. Now I better get to reading my Bible so I can write more about my findings! I hope you are encouraged today!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
My best friend, Colin
Today I had to say goodbye to my favorite dog of my adulthood. His name was Colin and he was a Sheltie (or mini border collie) and was the coolest, smartest dog I know. I've never had a good memory so I don't remember what he looked like as a puppy beyond the picture I have, but I do remember the first trick I ever taught him. I believe my sister, Courtney was with me and we would point our index finger at him with our thumb up in the air and yell "BANG!" Then we flipped him over and told him to stay on his back. He did. Then we did it again and he did exactly what we'd just taught him. He played dead. As he got older, it took 3 shots to kill him. The first one he'd bark at, the second he'd lay down to, and the third he'd roll over for. :D I loved that. He's a tough dog.
I also won't forget how much of a loner he was, but he had some deep love for me. I don't know what I did to deserve that, but then again, how often do we deserve how well dogs treat us? He often laid alone away from everybody but always in sight and then out of the blue, with no prodding, he would come up to me and lick and lick and lick and smother my face with his furry body. That's how I knew he loved me. He's not much of a licker, but he would even whimper while he loved on me like he couldn't get enough. And when someone would come in the back door, he would get up from wherever he was and jump on me and bark at the door. He was my protector from the big bad step-dad or mom. And he wouldn't leave my lap until he knew who was in the house. I love him and will remember him forever. No pet will ever compare, but I know every animal has such a different personality so it's just like a child or friend.
Here's my biggest problem. I've had very few loved ones die. I think this is more a curse than a blessing because I take it harder when someone close dies, but it is what God wants it to be. My uncle died when I was 7 so that never effected me too terribly. My great grandmother died two weeks before my wedding and that was sad, but she didn't remember me much anyway her last couple of years. Other than that, it's been people from church that I knew but wasn't too close to. I cried a lot when my grandparents' dogs, Buster and Chance, went and when my two hamsters, Jaws and Henry, died it was pretty sad too. But Colin was different. I was much closer to him. At least I have tons of good memories and can't think of a single bad one right now. He was a good dog. So with a very heartfelt adieu and lots of tears in my eyes for the 3rd time since I heard the news at about 5:00 today, I leave you with my own memories of him. It was worth the 11 years we had with him. I love you with all my heart, Colin.
I also won't forget how much of a loner he was, but he had some deep love for me. I don't know what I did to deserve that, but then again, how often do we deserve how well dogs treat us? He often laid alone away from everybody but always in sight and then out of the blue, with no prodding, he would come up to me and lick and lick and lick and smother my face with his furry body. That's how I knew he loved me. He's not much of a licker, but he would even whimper while he loved on me like he couldn't get enough. And when someone would come in the back door, he would get up from wherever he was and jump on me and bark at the door. He was my protector from the big bad step-dad or mom. And he wouldn't leave my lap until he knew who was in the house. I love him and will remember him forever. No pet will ever compare, but I know every animal has such a different personality so it's just like a child or friend.
Here's my biggest problem. I've had very few loved ones die. I think this is more a curse than a blessing because I take it harder when someone close dies, but it is what God wants it to be. My uncle died when I was 7 so that never effected me too terribly. My great grandmother died two weeks before my wedding and that was sad, but she didn't remember me much anyway her last couple of years. Other than that, it's been people from church that I knew but wasn't too close to. I cried a lot when my grandparents' dogs, Buster and Chance, went and when my two hamsters, Jaws and Henry, died it was pretty sad too. But Colin was different. I was much closer to him. At least I have tons of good memories and can't think of a single bad one right now. He was a good dog. So with a very heartfelt adieu and lots of tears in my eyes for the 3rd time since I heard the news at about 5:00 today, I leave you with my own memories of him. It was worth the 11 years we had with him. I love you with all my heart, Colin.
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